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Little Italian Man's Blog

Dinosaur Cake

In honor of my recent birthday, one my relatives, who will remain nameless, baked me a cake. Recalling my love for dinosaurs as a child, she decided to bake it in the shape of a dinosaur. It was a truly delicious cake. Mind you, a better one than I could ever bake. The cake design was based on one available from bettycrocker.com, as seen in this image from their website:

Yes, it was a mouthwateringly delicious cake. But as for the finished product…something got a bit lost in translation. To be fair, she didn’t have any hershey’s kisses on hand, and…well, have a look yourself:
True, one could argue that its overall contours are indeed vaguely faithful to the original. But to me it doesn't resemble a dinosaur so much as the offspring of a syphilis-riddled giraffe and lamb-chop the sock puppet. In place of its tail, the poor creature appears to be getting violated from the rear by an inordinately large banana, also riddled with syphilis. It is also in need of an orthodontist. Lastly, for some reason, the constellation Orion is visible in the organism’s torso. Truly a delicious cake, though.

I decided that the only humane thing to do was a quick euthanasia. But after I cut into it, a magical transformation happened:
It appears that by severing its head and part of the tail/banana off, it actually looks more like a dinosaur than it ever did before, albeit now facing the other direction. A medical miracle, if I ever saw one.

I kept the head for myself, lovingly placed it in a jar of formaldehyde and mailed it to the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia.
Damn good cake, though.
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