It was a warm and relaxing Friday evening when, ice cream cone in hand, I left the safety of my favorite local ice cream shop, and glanced upon the display window of the adjacent delicatessen:
If you are like me (as you should be) you will notice that the person who wrote the menu boards was not sure of how he wanted to spell pastrami, and thus shrewdly evaded the issue by hedging his bet. My hats off to this person. After all, why alienate the pastramy eaters in the group if you don’t have to?
But after a moment, something else caught my eye:
You'll notice in this menu board that the word pudding is incorrectly spelled as pooding. What's the big deal, one might ask? A spelling error won't keep anyone from purchasing a nice big pie pan full of baked noodle pudding, whatever that is. If only it were that simple.
Further investigation, with the help of a legitimate online dictionary, revealed the truth:
Admittedly, I would have been wary of eating a dish called noodle pudding. But I was wholly unprepared for the unspeakable horrors inherent in the dish known as noodle pooding. Read on:
It gets even worse:
Dirty bastard, indeed. How many people have eaten this unholy stew without knowing the truth? I shudder to think what would’ve happened to me if I hadn’t looked this up. Might I have also eaten pooding? Might I have liked it? Probably. Thankfully I’ll never know. For those who have unknowingly tasted this ‘tactical emptying of the bowels’, it’s too late. But for the rest of us, we should be grateful for the investigative efforts of Edmeister11, Guppygould and Hugebreasticle in helping to uncover the truth: Pooding isn’t a misspelling at all - it’s a horrifying stew made by the devil in hell.